Apr 16, 2011|
A discussion with author, Jennifer Lauck, about her new book, “Found”, a follow-up to her book, “Blackbird”. The two books follow her story of being adopted and, later, finding her birth-mother. Iris Harrison hosts.
AN INTERVIEW WITH DREW HENRIE-MCWILLIAMS, CEO OF MORRISON CHILD AND FAMILY SERVICES ABOUT THE WORK THEY DO WITH CHILDREN AND FAMILIES WITH MENTAL HEALTH AND SUBSTANCE ABUSE ISSUES AND ABOUT THEIR FUNDRAISING BIKE TOUR.
AN INTERVIEW WITH JEFF KELLER AND DON LEINGANG FROM THE USO ABOUT THE WORK THEY DO WITH MEMBERS OF THE MILITARY AND THEIR FUNDRAISING GOLF TOURNAMENT.
AN INTERVIEW WITH TERRY BEARD, AUTHOR OF THE BOOK SQUELCHED ABOUT HOW HE OVERCAME THE FEAR OF PUBLIC SPEAKING AND ADVICE ON HOW EVERYONE CAN OVERCOME THAT FEAR.
AN INTERVIEW WITH CORY PRICE, OWNER OF GROCERY OUTLET GRESHAM, ABOUT THE INDEPENDENCE FROM HUNGER FOOD DRIVE.
Automatically Generated Transcript (may not be 100% accurate)
You're listening to register go to a series of interviews with people of interest in northwest Oregon and southwest Washington I'm your host -- Douglas. I am off this week so I asked a good friend of mine to come in and take the hosting rains. So without further ado I assure you into the far more capable hands of Portland radio legend in this Tyrus Harrison and her conversation with her guest author Jennifer -- Good morning Jennifer how are you doing. Good morning thank you don't grade. The well. It I have read your book sound and I don't know if you know that you're talking to another adopt. Well they mentioned that you know I'm in Portland. Yeah as I was really really astounded to hear all of this. I just to back up for everybody Jennifer Lyle is the author of black birds still waters and show me the way. And has a new book a memoir about adoption called. Found. And I don't think there could be a better title but from an adopt. What a story you have. Yeah we'll have that that the and I at least after you've written four books about -- I think that would be great speech was safe but the. Exactly well and you know he's thinking you don't really cover at all you you cover some subjects here and some subjects there have been -- You get to sound and that's exactly what it's all about. Yeah it is getting to the bottom line you know I I didn't really get. How important adoption was and didn't give all that. Being split from my mother had -- played it is my behaviors in my decisions in my Jersey. In my reactions in my life. Really I didn't I understand. And so it's been quite an eye opener. Enjoy this whole new universe. Arafat's discussions. Philosophies psychology debate if this fascinating. It certainly isn't. Also meeting and -- As -- as I was reading your book and I don't mean -- you know speak badly here but I feel like I'd won the lottery were adoptive families were concerned after reading what you have been through. You have such twists and turns in deep sadness and loss and. There wasn't just the first laws there was a loss as your mother and father that adopted you. And I was. I just found myself so overwhelmed with your story. Yeah it's alive it's certainly is and I hear a lot of adopt these. In comparison because -- their situation in my situation they don't feel really fortunate they had a stable full of they had parents there was continuity there. And if they're very lucky they had parents to really acknowledged the fact that there was that initial loss. The lost that became another person's gain in some ways. -- gotta be with that and be recognizing the importance of the original connection. It might situation there's a lot of trauma there absolutely which I think gave it certain determination. To my -- My soul so to speak to kind of continue on forge ahead. And maybe even arresting poorly when I thought oh all of -- RO internally. Was due to all of those trauma as the losses but as I had written blackbird and still waters eventually the way it does -- a tremendous amount of therapy. You know there remained a brownie did you know that. That couldn't be explained away by those losses. And it was only in this final leg of the charity when I went and found my people. Did I get it and it's really taken my life and the nice you'd turn. Connection to my children my husband. Life in general just Israeli. Shifted my entire attitude yes no no perfect panacea. My relationship with my adopt -- -- is complicated. -- I'm much more peaceful I get it I've got it. I understand. I think we all have to walk sip on walks his her life I mean in our journey is our own but I found so fascinating. -- does the point where you really felt that in the loss and yet the connection also was in the birth of your own child. Yeah yeah I think guys I've heard this from other people that they -- -- they had children. That's spark in them a deeper just fired didn't know or connect. With their lineage when my daughter came. Just holding their daughter and that imagining my own mother did she hold me. Did she Chris Chase Field in the larger tapestry of being that a daughter had been born to this line of women. This just this. People are very funky spiritual. Weird. Well lying. And ironic ended up finding my mom two years to the gate. After my grandmother had died it was my grandmother had told my mother. Don't search for her leave her alone you know stay out of her life she's having it should have a new life. And it might my grandmother was so -- on my mother and they were so close my mother didn't really ever -- What she had been told and so here I came exactly cheers on the anniversary of my grandmother's death and my mom and I laughed and we wonder clash with my grandmother involved from the other side. In bringing us back together because remember those are really deep sorrow she has always. Worried about me wondered about me and and she went on to have very my father to have another child with him. So they loved each other and they really wanted to keep their child and I think it was a terrific injustice for her. And. Now you not only experienced the loss early birth mother. At a very early age you lost your adopted mother. And then there is such an interesting tale of the odd. Than almost. Cinderella neglect full stepmother. And when your adopted father married shortly after the death of your mom and then he dies in your left again now this brings me to lose my point which is. Didn't do -- that seemed so important in your life in the day of September 19 being -- -- that keeps coming back through your life. That portal trip for. Interesting how that work -- -- You know I have the same thing it's really weird bit my eight the date of birth December 6 seems to I I laugh and tell my friends it's the portal. And then when I read your story I I just had been down the book and they'll. Okay it's not just me. Yeah -- need to put this in context my adoptive mother had a son born on September 19. She died on his tenth birthday on September 19. -- -- I'm adopted. Into a new family after both my period diet and the man who adopt me it was unrelated to any of us. Is born on September 19 1945. And after my long investigation I discover my birth father was born September 19 in 1945. Standing. TV is a what do you do look at this coincidence or divine plan you know we're a land and. You know the food if they're really great I study which says Tibetan buddhism I've been a big follower for about. Seven years and one of the things that they say is dead they believe in reincarnation and they believe that winds. You leave this incarnation you're attracted. To the opposite genders you choose to your parents going to be based on the father in my case. So -- right if that's true -- I was attracted into being born to this father bill right born September 19 21945. How ironic. That I would end up being raised almost half of my life I am there with the same energetic kind of pattern if you believe in all that. You know it's something which you find the I I I think we don't we can't really comprehend. How vast and complex. This tapestry of life as we use less than 4% of our -- for God's sake I mean. Good intelligence is pretty stunning. -- Lot of straight. Adoptees at the you know by and large I I know I have not a family tree I call -- a Stanley forest because it's so bag. That if you start talking to friends sometime about you know my dad Dennis -- my and my uncle that. And and then you have to explain it was my birth Stanley heard this in my adopted family. They gonna look like a deer in the headlights when you're talking to them do you find that many times when you're going through your story you're telling. You know just and that's a little and -- -- to something that happened to somebody -- good people Achille. Boy you're really complex -- -- Well that's why I wrote four books was. Betrayed like I don't know where I'm out of my apple -- out of my right here love. You know I love. Investigative journalist by trade and that's where -- came right out of college and put myself into investigative journalism it's so when I started to really examine. My past in my story I got tangled up and it's so I pretty much started writing blackbird as a waited just to get things in order -- -- -- I -- What happened then then you'll find -- that. I think it's very important to have a sense not just the order but as. Chronology so that you can keep yourself together you know a lot of people. Spend a lot of time in the world looking -- but I think. My life is like a giant university and I just have to go in word and everything I need to know learn will come from exploring my -- Experiences my own journey. I it's worked out well I've got the four books like I know where I was and that's the most important thing I know who is related to should look at a and relating to the world I think it's another reason why I turn choose to writing because the page doesn't judge you. But the world does give you that befuddled expression like. What you mean you don't feel that you fit what you mean you don't belong. You know you're here what I don't netted. Check it you know you'll never convince another human being of anything nor do you have a right to even try. But you can't change yourself so I got it figured out I got those books to refer to the book. Data girl it's a tough but now you also said that he never a full biological brother because your parents got remarried and had another child out. So it isn't that the CI have the same thing I have to biological Brothers completely full Brothers. And that is probably the most rewarding of all of mine relationships in terms of my birth family. How about you but we're. Aren't so great for me yet love Surrey. Slightly it's central topic of the hard Michael would never told anyone and those she's had to deal with -- -- dynamic. Play that they have going on in their family of betrayal. Play half sisters. Really open in super inviting -- my brother has. I think he's overwhelmed I think it is really happy to meet -- we had a didn't instantaneous. Connection. That was very profound and I'm sure you have experienced as well. But he's also kept yourself. Far away from it because I think he feels they've betrayed by his mom and she and here working things out so I try to stay out. I try to stay out of bad and she -- iron just holding close to our relationship we've only been in reunion now. For about three years. When -- -- know that yet there's a lot Eminem. I -- I'm Linden new. I am older so radar gun down the path a little bit -- no longer bit I just I really respected your story in just absolutely loved it. Also I found it fascinating UN -- journalism you were also in television. I went into radio. -- find a lot of adopt d.s in the world who have found their voice in the business of communication. -- have you found the same kind of connections. Well I -- guy or -- people who express themselves artistically or really high achievers like -- Steve Jobs is. Steven Jobs is adopt. NBC is the complexity. Of professions that people. Pursue in this. -- adopted that very high achievers. It's really good at adapting we I have. National online support group that we need every other week and we -- subsequent call chameleon. Yeah we all collectively agree how good we are adapting. And I think we've become great communicators because we've had to. Go on -- -- for most of our lives so we have to develop trip tremendous translation skills. Oh so true but I can hang out with the bikers or the cheerleaders at school or didn't matter. Ichiro can can't support. It had a conversation with the -- -- it's gonna be rewarding. -- -- Any -- quite a bit which also I moved quite a bit as well. You know is just -- to my father's business that. That you know is just so many threads that I thought were unique to me and then I read in reading your book or go obviously. So many of us have gone through this. Yeah you know what it's hard to find really good literature. That's speaks store experience that mere step back I don't know if you found books that really just blew your mind. When he came to speaking very honestly about being adopted without all the -- you know there's some angst written books out there yes. But unlike the search for and a Fisher back in the seventies with a fantastic book I really felt. What's good literature good storytelling but it's hard to find good stories that we can relate to. It's certainly is and you've also done a wonderful thing you you work with -- adoptive groups as well so that's why I worked with open adoption of orient as mine was an open adoption. And do you work without -- doctors' groups right. Yeah I'm here with adoption mosaic in Portland. I would just a great group that surprised that provide kind of non judgmental support all members of the Triad. I'm unaffiliated with the national. Organization called the American adoption congress be concerned united birth parents. I spend several conferences just getting a feel for what people are talking about what's going on I haven't found enough. Direct support for adopt. Adopt these curious to pursue reunion to be supported during reunion. And so we're creating. From our support group a national support group we're trying to create. Something that really does leaning into adopting you can get just passed this. Moniker of adopted and into. Really I healed so you know in transformed in transported by the experience not defined and crippled and the web via. Or at least in the process of healing. How well -- golf to resolve he had a lot of power in a person who -- overcome being orphaned. Even though we've been taken in by people who really love does their love is essential. And we've suffered a deep -- said he would walk that fine balance. That is definitely unique capacity was very strong people. If we can just get to that you know. That's great I and you also have and I I just have to have course promote this because. I -- be able to find you. Especially other adoptees if it's down to is really honing in on this particular conversation. Jennifer allow you can find -- on FaceBook she also has. A place on Blogspot is there anywhere else we need to look for you on the Internet. Well I think Jennifer -- dot com. That's the easiest way to find anyone can type in black bird and boom there I am right on big you can clear me. You in the beetles but -- -- can't get Twitter me at his face. Let me -- on Huffington Post -- regular blogger on there and yeah well all over the place deposit to get the coffee shop. Also you're going to be at the mission -- this Thursday I have to mention that. Oh my god and that's sold out at the that a shame -- there's 350. People going into the accents which is alive storytelling. I would just terrified because I'm used to holding a book is being behind a podium and I have to stand up and make up this story alive and I'm. You would be fantastic. Town mom I have celibate your -- a little nervous but bite my -- didn't end this. Should you also must. Re writing class here in Portland as well so I invite people to go and if -- and all aspiring to be a writer or they have an adoption situation. Find Jennifer -- because she's gonna lead you do great things in general. You don't like -- craft class begins April where we're just getting some basics under people's belts. A lot of fun to keep trading. That's great well Jennifer thank you so much for taking time with us this morning and I -- -- most in Portland -- -- and at some point. We're gonna stand back up a copy. Okay popular -- think he's -- judged -- fact daycare -- All right thank you iris for -- -- segment that'll do it for this -- a match -- scope and intercom communications public affairs program I think your host -- Douglas if you're a nonprofit -- public affairs organization you like to let others know about please email me at microscope @entercom.com. An air concerts -- the neat and please put masters cup in the subject line so it doesn't get -- about my spam filter hoarding go directly to the station's website click on the community link and submit your information there also -- like -- this program again you can visit our podcast page had microscope PDX dot com where you'll find this and the last couple months worth of episodes thank you all so much for listening this has been -- government. And the Vietnam. And -- Take these broken playing with to the all in all saying he. You are on anyways -- but this moment to. Blackbirds singing in the dead on the. Mean can change the -- and a to see. Mall. Beyond name. Do you only wasting. But this moment to be seen. Hey he's. I mean. You do I have never done that.